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Showing posts with label how to. Show all posts
Showing posts with label how to. Show all posts

Monday, January 26, 2009

How to get involved in your children and invest in their lives before they turn to drugs and alcohol

how to have a parents involvement in their children - by dr. sober companion dr. rob tencer

Nobody said it would be easy to raise good kids who don't turn to drugs and alcohol or other addictions that could lead to their death. Isn't it worth the effort to change their lives?

You must start out by paying your dues, and expect snotty comments, dirty looks, appendages lifted in your honor, exasperated huffs, slammed doors, chucked items, and enough "whys" to split King Solomon in half.

You as a wealthy parent, must invest in your family in some of the following ways:

* Identification and communication of their whereabouts and activities.
* Encouraging them to get a job AND save some of their paycheck.
* Requiring a clean room and a bit of help around the house.
* Payment for some gas when tooling around for no reason.
* Speaking to them with respect and demanding the same back.
* Allowing them to bear the consequences of their own behavior.
* Being able to pronounce the word "no."
* Simple rules for clean and appropriate clothing, which implies use of their senses, namely sight, smell and common.
* Aiding and abetting other authority figures.
* Meaning what I say and saying what I mean.

You must have the strength to expect that it will be hard and time consuming, but the reward that you will earn is your childs life.

You must have no remorse and do not fear punishment.
Since you as a parent function as judge to your children, and the jury and jailor, your punishment can take many forms, the worst being isolation, a type of family solitary confinement.

Isolation works like the cooties. Cast out from their inner circle, devoid of the details of their day, you experience the dreaded "silent treatment." (Now you know why I have no fear. It's more like a vacation.)

Unfortunately, this doesn't last very long as your kids will be unable to tolerate your confinement any better than Paris Hilton took to hers. This time off from hearing about their behavior will be short-lived as they soon discover they need you for nearly every aspect of daily life.

Despite the little perks of this type of parenthood such as this, some parents need may special help accepting their lot in life.

If you become uncomfortable as a parent to your children who badly need you, you should remember how important you are to your children.

1. Admit that you have all the power and that family life is manageable when adults are in charge.
2. Believe that a Power greater than you blessed you with this child who challenges your sanity.
3. Decide to turn a good portion of your lifetime over to the care and raising of a healthy competent future adult.
4. Make a fearless inventory of what is best for your kids. That involves having them share some jobs around the house, talking to others with respect and encouraging them to do their best.
5. Acknowledge there might times you swear you don't know where they inherited the nature of their wrongs.
6. Be entirely ready to remove all of their defects of character as soon as you get rid of your own.
7. Humbly ask God to overlook your own because you are really busy right now.
8. List all things done by your children that you have corrected and be willing to consider admitting years later if you were ever wrong. (It's probably a short list.)
9. Plan to make amends to this short list when possible, although not probable.
10. Continue to take close inventory of the persons under your care even as they get mouthier and nastier.
11. Pray for the knowledge and courage to continue providing parental guidance and supervision until they are of the age of reason or until age 30, whichever comes first.
12. As a result of following these steps, acknowledge that you are trying to show your children how to grow into a responsible adult though you realize right now your messages may fall on deaf ears.

Your children might define your being active in their lives as being nasty and unfair: A parent defines this same behavior as being responsible, caring, protective and loving.

Just tell yourself that someday, your kids will know what you mean and why you took the time to save their lives.

Parents often ask dr. sober companion:

What you can do to help my children?

How can you help with their addictions?

How do you stop them from drinking and their alcoholism?

Is it to late to help my children?

dr. sober companion answers with the simple fact that as long as your children are still living, you have a chance as a parent to help them.

Its only late when their dead.

Don't wait until you have killed your children.

email dr. sober companion at

dr. sober companion is dr. rob tencer and he cares about your children!