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Monday, January 26, 2009

How to get involved in your children and invest in their lives before they turn to drugs and alcohol

how to have a parents involvement in their children - by dr. sober companion dr. rob tencer

Nobody said it would be easy to raise good kids who don't turn to drugs and alcohol or other addictions that could lead to their death. Isn't it worth the effort to change their lives?

You must start out by paying your dues, and expect snotty comments, dirty looks, appendages lifted in your honor, exasperated huffs, slammed doors, chucked items, and enough "whys" to split King Solomon in half.

You as a wealthy parent, must invest in your family in some of the following ways:

* Identification and communication of their whereabouts and activities.
* Encouraging them to get a job AND save some of their paycheck.
* Requiring a clean room and a bit of help around the house.
* Payment for some gas when tooling around for no reason.
* Speaking to them with respect and demanding the same back.
* Allowing them to bear the consequences of their own behavior.
* Being able to pronounce the word "no."
* Simple rules for clean and appropriate clothing, which implies use of their senses, namely sight, smell and common.
* Aiding and abetting other authority figures.
* Meaning what I say and saying what I mean.

You must have the strength to expect that it will be hard and time consuming, but the reward that you will earn is your childs life.

You must have no remorse and do not fear punishment.
Since you as a parent function as judge to your children, and the jury and jailor, your punishment can take many forms, the worst being isolation, a type of family solitary confinement.

Isolation works like the cooties. Cast out from their inner circle, devoid of the details of their day, you experience the dreaded "silent treatment." (Now you know why I have no fear. It's more like a vacation.)

Unfortunately, this doesn't last very long as your kids will be unable to tolerate your confinement any better than Paris Hilton took to hers. This time off from hearing about their behavior will be short-lived as they soon discover they need you for nearly every aspect of daily life.

Despite the little perks of this type of parenthood such as this, some parents need may special help accepting their lot in life.


If you become uncomfortable as a parent to your children who badly need you, you should remember how important you are to your children.

1. Admit that you have all the power and that family life is manageable when adults are in charge.
2. Believe that a Power greater than you blessed you with this child who challenges your sanity.
3. Decide to turn a good portion of your lifetime over to the care and raising of a healthy competent future adult.
4. Make a fearless inventory of what is best for your kids. That involves having them share some jobs around the house, talking to others with respect and encouraging them to do their best.
5. Acknowledge there might times you swear you don't know where they inherited the nature of their wrongs.
6. Be entirely ready to remove all of their defects of character as soon as you get rid of your own.
7. Humbly ask God to overlook your own because you are really busy right now.
8. List all things done by your children that you have corrected and be willing to consider admitting years later if you were ever wrong. (It's probably a short list.)
9. Plan to make amends to this short list when possible, although not probable.
10. Continue to take close inventory of the persons under your care even as they get mouthier and nastier.
11. Pray for the knowledge and courage to continue providing parental guidance and supervision until they are of the age of reason or until age 30, whichever comes first.
12. As a result of following these steps, acknowledge that you are trying to show your children how to grow into a responsible adult though you realize right now your messages may fall on deaf ears.

Your children might define your being active in their lives as being nasty and unfair: A parent defines this same behavior as being responsible, caring, protective and loving.

Just tell yourself that someday, your kids will know what you mean and why you took the time to save their lives.

Parents often ask dr. sober companion:

What you can do to help my children?

How can you help with their addictions?

How do you stop them from drinking and their alcoholism?

Is it to late to help my children?


dr. sober companion answers with the simple fact that as long as your children are still living, you have a chance as a parent to help them.

Its only late when their dead.

Don't wait until you have killed your children.

email dr. sober companion at dr.sober@gmail.com

dr. sober companion is dr. rob tencer and he cares about your children!

The nanny is called to raise the wealthy children, and destroy the family

the nanny raises rich children - by dr. sober companion dr. rob tencer

Successful men and women may bow out of active parenting, hiring in effect a nanny to raise their children for them. Unfortunately, the children of these ever-present nannies and ever-absent fathers and mothers are not likely to get to know the creator and/or steward of the family wealth and therefore do not benefit from their parents wisdom they learned from their failures and their successes-which would be their irreplaceable heritage.

Because children learn about money and values from the nanny who raises them, they identify with their angry, emotionally and often financially deprived nanny. These children are likely to develop selfish, short-term goals and objectives, far different from the long-term goal of their wealth-producing or wealth-protecting parents.

Your children rarely develop skills at making or keeping money, merely skills at throwing it away. Your children develop the skills that are least likely to produce long-term happiness or solid relationships.

Your children may grow up with a strong sense of entitlement, enormous self-esteem, and a self-conscious belief in their own importance and visibility in the universe, but no self-confidence, no belief that they can do anything of value for themselves or anyone else.

Your children may have to blow their inherited wealth before they can move on toward their own successes.

You as parents may only go into battle to get your alcoholic son or daughter out of a drunk-driving charge, with great concern for how it would look on his record and little concern with the reality of his alcoholism.

Lets discuss the various forms of money that wealthy parents have and how they use it as a weapon on their children.

Fuck You Money - This is when the parents have so much money, they will never have to work a day in their lives, nor will their children have to work to make a living.

Go Away Money - This is when the parents have their own lives, and want a total seperation from their children from spoiling their individuality. The parent is able to make their children go away simply by throwing money at them.

The cause is you as the parent, but the cure is also with you as the parent.

Parents often ask dr. sober companion:

What you can do to help my children?

How can you help with their addictions?

How do you stop them from drinking and their alcoholism?

Is it to late to help my children?

dr. sober companion answers with the simple fact that as long as your children are still living, you have a chance as a parent to help them.

Its only late when their dead.

Don't wait until you have killed your children.

email dr. sober companion at dr.sober@gmail.com

dr. sober companion is dr. rob tencer

why parenting time is more valuable to children then your money

spend time with your children - by dr. sober dr. rob tencer

While a good parent would involve themselves in their childrens lives, you can control and develop a loving relationship with your children. Yes, You can also control the family life and the good family relationship in a positive way with the use of the money.

What often happens though, when you don't supply your children with this loving family atmosphere is that your children experiment by spending the money you control. Your children become angry and resentful at your efforts at control, and your children gets their only sense of power by blowing money foolishly.

Without your love and your time invested in your children, your children are likely to be in a state of permanent rebellion.

Your son or daughter need their father
When you as the father have little impact on your children-except to deprive them emotionally and set grand and ambivalently held ideals for them, you are destroying them.

Your son or daughter need their mother
When you as the mother spend little time on your children you destroy them.

Mothers are required by society to be the ones who spend more time with their children their fathers, but mothers can also go missing when it comes to parenting.

While mothers may feel guilty about it, whereas men more often than not have been praised for abandoning their families in the pursuit of various varieties of glory.

Can you understand how this way of life destroys your family and your children?

Lets discuss the various forms of money that wealthy parents have and how they use it as a weapon on their children.

Fuck You Money - This is when the parents have so much money, they will never have to work a day in their lives, nor will their children have to work to make a living.

Go Away Money - This is when the parents have their own lives, and want a total seperation from their children from spoiling their individuality. The parent is able to make their children go away simply by throwing money at them.

The cause is you as the parent, but the cure is also with you as the parent.

Parents often ask dr. sober companion:

What you can do to help my children?

How can you help with their addictions?

How do you stop them from drinking and their alcoholism?

Is it to late to help my children?

dr. sober companion answers with the simple fact that as long as your children are still living, you have a chance as a parent to help them.

Its only late when their dead.

Don't wait until you have killed your children.

email dr. sober comapnion at dr.sober@gmail.com

dr. sober companion is dr. rob tencer

A wealthy parents greed was the drug they gave to their children

greed in the family - by dr. sober companion dr. rob tencer

Your curse to your children is that you require unhealthy ways to gain pleasure. It has been studied and pointed out (philip slater 1980), that your senseless greed and continuation in the pursuit of wealth long past the point that it gives you pleasure.

One of the main reasons wealth makes you unhappy is that it gives you too much control over what you experience. You try to translate your own fantasies into reality . . . an enervating and disappointing pastime ...

Your curse to your children was in their education and how they grew up. Your children's learning and growing are very difficult with wealth because they depend on experiences in real life, and wealth enables one to buy out of life.

Wealth provides the wherewithal to cling to every outworn fantasy, pathway, or goal-to grasp every outgrown security blanket more tightly-to control your input in such a way that you never need to change or develop.

The curse of money and its ultimate affect on you and your children could result in severe depression or suicide, its so powerful.

This curse of money was studied in depth by Cloe Madanes, who pointed out, "wealth often appears to be cursed, bringing with it more misery than joy." Sooner or later they realize that the wealth is not going to make them happy, but they then are likely to seek out more intense and drastic pleasures, from taking more risks, finding new drugs, getting into machines that go too fast, or otherwise trying to intensify experiences in a life that is rapidly becoming jaded, exhausted from overindulgence.


When a child grows up with having so much money, they don't have to work or succeed at anything in life, their wealth deprives them of pride in their own usefulness, isolates them from everyone less fortunate, distorts relationships with their loved ones, and ultimately disillusioning them.

Your children rates of depression and suicide, and their general levels of misery go up beyond middle-class levels almost to the levels of the poor.

Lets discuss the various forms of money that wealthy parents have and how they use it as a weapon on their children.

Fuck You Money - This is when the parents have so much money, they will never have to work a day in their lives, nor will their children have to work to make a living.

Go Away Money - This is when the parents have their own lives, and want a total seperation from their children from spoiling their individuality. The parent is able to make their children go away simply by throwing money at them.

The cause is you as the parent, but the cure is also with you as the parent.

Parents often ask dr. sober companion:

What you can do to help my children?

How can you help with their addictions?

How do you stop them from drinking and their alcoholism?

Is it to late to help my children?

dr. sober companion answers with the simple fact that as long as your children are still living, you have a chance as a parent to help them.

Its only late when their dead.

Don't wait until you have killed your children.

email dr. sober companion at dr.sober@gmail.com


dr. sober companion is dr. rob tencer

What is going on in the wealthy parents head, that they could not treat their children as their most vauable possesion?

Your children is your most valuable possession - by dr. sober comapnion dr. rob tencer

Your children may be unhappy because they are your children which J. Sedgwick describes as a dispiriting and crippling burden, because you may have amassed wealth obsessively through your inability to be satisfied, your relentless need for competitive victory, and your willingness to commit the "great crime" that, presumably "lies behind every great fortune."

In other words, you are inherently unhappy and do what they do in hopes that more of something (or maybe even more of everything) will finally fill the void inside of you.

It is your unhappiness (i.e., your inability to be easily satisfied) that has driven them to get rich.
It is this destructive way of life that destroys your childrens abilities in their life.

Lets discuss the various forms of money that wealthy parents have and how they use it as a weapon on their children.

Fuck You Money - This is when the parents have so much money, they will never have to work a day in their lives, nor will their children have to work to make a living.

Go Away Money - This is when the parents have their own lives, and want a total seperation from their children from spoiling their individuality. The parent is able to make their children go away simply by throwing money at them.

The cause is you as the parent, but the cure is also with you as the parent.

Parents often ask dr. sober companion:

What you can do to help my children?

How can you help with their addictions?

How do you stop them from drinking and their alcoholism?

Is it to late to help my children?

dr. sober companion answers with the simple fact that as long as your children are still living, you have a chance as a parent to help them.

Its only late when their dead.

Don't wait until you have killed your children.

email dr. sober companion at dr.sober@gmail.com

dr. sober companion is dr. rob tencer

A parents curse of being weathly is tranfered to your children

curses that wealthy parents give to their children - by dr. sober companion dr. rob tencer

The curse of money and its ultimate affect on you and your children could result in severe depression or suicide, its so powerful.

This curse of money was studied in depth by Cloe Madanes, who pointed out, "wealth often appears to be cursed, bringing with it more misery than joy."

Sooner or later they realize that the wealth is not going to make them happy, but they then are likely to seek out more intense and drastic pleasures, from taking more risks, finding new drugs, getting into machines that go too fast, or otherwise trying to intensify experiences in a life that is rapidly becoming jaded, exhausted from overindulgence.

When a child grows up with having so much money, they don't have to work or succeed at anything in life, their wealth deprives them of pride in their own usefulness, isolates them from everyone less fortunate, distorts relationships with their loved ones, and ultimately disillusioning them. Their rates of depression and suicide, and their general levels of misery go up beyond middle-class levels almost to the levels of the poor.

Lets discuss the various forms of money that wealthy parents have and how they use it as a weapon on their children.

Fuck You Money - This is when the parents have so much money, they will never have to work a day in their lives, nor will their children have to work to make a living.

Go Away Money - This is when the parents have their own lives, and want a total seperation from their children from spoiling their individuality. The parent is able to make their children go away simply by throwing money at them.

The cause is you as the parent, but the cure is also with you as the parent.

Parents often ask dr. sober companion:

What you can do to help my children?

How can you help with their addictions?

How do you stop them from drinking and their alcoholism?

Is it to late to help my children?

dr. sober companion answers with the simple fact that as long as your children are still living, you have a chance as a parent to help them.

Its only late when their dead.

Don't wait til you have killed your children.

email dr. sober companion at dr.sober@gmail.com

dr. sober companion is dr. rob tencer

financial advisers reveal secrets of the wealthy and why rich kids get addicted to drugs and alcohol

financial advisers to the rich and wealthy - by dr. sober companion dr. rob tencer

While most people in world envy the rich, financial advisers reveal the secret that wealthy people are not happy. Money is the weapon of choice that wealthy parents use to ruin their children. While some parents are responsible, most are not. Financial advisers see this on a daily basis.

The danger of money is overlooked in the financial literature. Perhaps financial advisers have little patience with your seemingly enviable problems. While you deserve our understanding and even sympathy. Anything that prevents people from developing a functional reciprocity with the world is destructive.

Both the rich and the poor can grow up without exposure to functional people and realistically attainable goals and acquirable skills.

Financial advisers need to overcome their envy long enough to understand the problem. Money is powerful. It can do good or it can do harm.

Lets discuss the various forms of money that wealthy parents have and how they use it as a weapon on their children.

Fuck You Money - This is when the parents have so much money, they will never have to work a day in their lives, nor will their children have to work to make a living.

Go Away Money - This is when the parents have their own lives, and want a total seperation from their children from spoiling their individuality. The parent is able to make their children go away simply by throwing money at them.

The harm that is caused by using these techniques on the wealthy parents own children, drives the children to pick up addictions. The rich parents are directly responsible for causing their childrens addiction to drugs and their alcoholism.

If the wealthy parent deals with their children when its to late, this could result in their childs death. Simply by cutting off their childrens money might cause them to seek out illegel means for supplying their addictions. Sometimes the cause of this parental problem is when a parent married into wealth and has no idea that acting this way to their children is like allowing them to play with a loaded gun. If the parents were both from money, then they understood what harm they could cause their children by giving them fuck you money or go away money could cause. They can't simply be blameless in this case for causing their childrens drug and alcohol addiction, leading to their childrens death.

The cause is you as the parent, but the cure is also with you as the parent.

Parents often ask dr. sober companion:

What you can do to help my children?

How can you help with their addictions?

How do you stop them from drinking and their alcoholism?

Is it to late to help my children?

dr. sober companion answers with the simple fact that as long as your children are still living, you have a chance as a parent to help them. Its only late when their dead.

Don't wait til you have killed your children.

email dr. sober at dr.sober@gmail.com

dr. sober is sober companion dr. rob tencer

why do drug rehab clinics hire family therapists to help with addictions?

rehab and family therapists - by dr. sober companion dr. rob tencer

Family therapists agree that wealth does not make people happy. Family therapists are hired by the rehab clinic to help with the family problems that arise when you have wealthy parents.

Problems like the money you give to your son or daughter, which is either through a trust fund or allowance.

You as a parent have created an inherently unequal relationship, with your children in which they are essentially employed by you. Your children believe the family money belongs to them when they reach a certain age.

While a good parent would involve themselves in their children lives, you can control and develop a loving relationship with your children. You can control the family life and the good family relationship in a positive way with the use of the money.

What often happens though, when you don't supply your children with this loving family atmosphere is that your children experiment by spending the money you control.

Your children become angry and resentful at your efforts at control, and your children gets their only sense of power by blowing money foolishly. Without your love and your time invested in your children, your children are likely to be in a state of permanent rebellion.

The problems of the rich, whether the Kennedy's, the Windsors, or the lottery winners are rarely caused just by the money. No amount of money can create good genes or good parents or good relationship or even good luck.

Wealth alone can neither cause nor cure the pains of life, it can just make them inexplicable to the envious.

Although the rich are as much in need of help as anyone else, they are an overlooked phenomenon in the family psychotherapy literature.

Wealth is not good for children. As Andree Aelion Brooks (1989) noted, it creates a lifetime dependency upon rich parents, belittles children's own accomplishments, distorts their relationships with their peers, makes them distrustful of friendships, and increases their sense of what is enough.


Fuck You Money - This is when the parents have so much money, they will never have to work a day in their lives, nor will their children have to work to make a living.

Go Away Money - This is when the parents have their own lives, and want a total seperation from their children from spoiling their individuality. The parent is able to make their children go away simply by throwing money at them.

The harm that is caused by using these techniques on the wealthy parents own children, drives the children to pick up addictions. The rich parents are directly responsible for causing their childrens addiction to drugs and their alcoholism.

If the wealthy parent deals with their children when its to late, this could result in their childs death. Simply by cutting off their childrens money might cause them to seek out illegel means for supplying their addictions. Sometimes the cause of this parental problem is when a parent carried into wealth and has no idea that acting this way to their children is like allowing them to play with a loaded gun.

If the parents were both from money, then they understood what harm they could cause their children by giving them fuck you money or go away money could cause. They can't simply be blameless in this case for causing their childrens drug and alcohol addiction, leading to their childrens death.

The cause is you as the parent, but the cure is also with you as the parent.

Parents often ask dr. sober companion:

What you can do to help my children?

How can you help with their addictions?

How do you stop them from drinking and their alcoholism?

Is it to late to help my children?

dr. sober companion answers with the simple fact that as long as your children are still living, you have a chance as a parent to help them.

Its only late when their dead.

Don't wait until you have killed your children.

email dr. sober companion at dr.sober@gmail.com

dr. sober companion is dr. rob tencer sober comapnion

Thursday, January 1, 2009

i just finished a rehab clinic but not cured

strong bonds with your rehab facility are not free

when you stayed at the rehab clinic, rehab house, rehab resort, rehab mansion, your environment was different than on your own. they had you meet with doctors, therapists, personal trainers, hypnotherapists, family shrinks, and spiritual counselors. just like when someone is in a prison, it makes the time go by quicker if your mind is in something else.

by feeding you all these treatments and therapies they lock you into a new addiction. this new addiction is created to make a strong bond between the rehab facility and you. that's why they provide you with their own sober companions, because they can control the sober companion and keep the strong bond by continuing to control you. They build loyalty by addicting you to their services, none of which are free.

break the bonds and choose an independent sober companion

if you had enough of the rehab facility when you left or were asked to leave, then break your bonds of addiction to them and try dr. sober companion.

dr. sober companion is not controlled by the rehab facility and does not give kickbacks for continuing to keep people addicted to them.

dr. sober companion does not use addiction tricks like replacement therapy

Is replacemt therapy the immedate cure?

The main ingredient that some rehab centers and sober companions that work with the rehab centers use for an immediate cure for a drug and alcohol addict is to feed them another ingredient to replace the original addiction. this is known as the replacement therapy

dr. sober companion, what do you mean: "replace my addiction with another addiction?"

For instance, if you are addicted to drugs and alcohol, there is a technique used called replacement therapy, which simply means replace one addiction with a pharmaceutical replacement, that is every bit as addictive as the original.

Some of these replacement medications are:

  • Suboxone
  • Naltrexone

The rehab center or sober companion associated with a rehab center and its medical physician will place you on these replacement therapies to control your addiction, ease discomfort from cravings during withdrawal and other psychiatric medications where indicated for treatment of co-occurring disorders.
(They are every bit as addictive as what they are replacing.)

why begin the cycle of addiction again?

This is not really a cure for your addiction, nor is it recommended if you really want to end your addiction to pharmaceuticals, medications, or drugs or even alcohol. The pharmaceutical versions that control your cravings are every bit as strong and works on the same part of your brain as the drugs you became addicted to originally. Its no cure, its just a replacement.

how is dr. sober companion different?

dr. sober companion is not interested in replacing one addiction with another addiction, that may be worse than the original, and much easier to get.

why is dr. sober companion's approach unpredictable?

dr. sober companion uses a different approach that is more realistic to a natural reaction that might cause you to seek your drugs or alcohol, but you don't. Its this real life experience, that dr. sober works on. its the unpredictable life experience that dr. sober companion prepares you for.

How is dr. sober companion going to stop me from my addictions?

dr. sober companion teaches how to react to an unpredictable lifestyle, that could be filled with stress and psychological trauma. Its how you react and are taught to react to these situations, that cure you of them. This is how dr. sober gets you through your life one day at a time.

note: while dr. sober companion cannot go into details on how he preforms the unpredictable method in this blog, because this is the secret dr. sober companion's method. This method is reserved for dr. sober companion clients only.